I missed the first half hour of this week's episode, but the remaining hour and a half provided enough drama to get me through the week.
Jason decided to go on a private date with a very tan blonde girl named Natalie. He said he wanted to go out with her because she's "really hot" but he wasn't sure if she was marriage material. It turns out she's not. Or at least Jason didn't think so. 'Cause he sent her home at the end of the date. Ouch. Maybe it's because the only three-syllable word she uttered on the whole date (over and over again) was "amazing."
I—along with most of the other bachelorettes—was relieved that Jason was looking for more in a woman than a good bod and long blonde hair. Not that either of those things are bad. But he was making a statement that it's not all about looks; that authenticity and genuine goodness are more important. Hooray for authenticity and genuine goodness!
But there are still some girls in the running who are not very good people, as Natalie pointed out to Jason when she got the boot. So Jason spent the rest of the episode trying to figure out which girls are mean to the others. And by "figure out," I mean he "pried some of the girls for info." Not cool, in my opinion. He was asking them to talk badly about the other girls, which is exactly what the mean girls were doing to them, and... it was just a big vicious cycle that involved lots of backstabbing and moving of the head and talking to the hand.
The cat fights that happen on this show make me embarrassed to be a woman. They don't realize that they look so... ahem, unclassy... when they're all up in someone's bizness. But, hey! Suckers like me love watching it.
The previews for next week involve lots of tears. I'm sure that's such a turn-on to Jason. We shall see!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
6 Signs You're About To Get Dumped
It's funny how, when you're in a relationship with someone you're crazy about, you may not notice when that person is trying to get rid of you. The signs seem so clear in retrospect, but at the time, it's easy to be in denial.
This article on Savvymiss.com gives the top six signs you're about to get dumped. It's written for women, but I think it can apply to either gender.
According to the article, you're about to get dumped if....
Do you agree with this list? Is there anything missing?
This article on Savvymiss.com gives the top six signs you're about to get dumped. It's written for women, but I think it can apply to either gender.
According to the article, you're about to get dumped if....
1. He's no longer interested in intimacy with you.You can read further explanation of these signs here.
2. He's picking silly fights.
3. He says "I need space" or "I think we should see other people." [This seems like a big duh to me, but again, denial...]
4. He pats your back while hugging you. [Ooh, an obscure one that involves the ever-so-subtle body language. This is a good one.]
5. He buys a pre-paid cell phone or a pager.
6. He's suddenly paying a lot more attention to his appearance.
Do you agree with this list? Is there anything missing?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Just Say It
Today I heard Alicia Keys' Tell You Something, which is a beautiful song about her desire to express how she feels about a loved one before they're gone. I think she wrote it for her grandmother, but obviously it can apply to anyone. The main message is that you shouldn't sit around waiting for the right moment to tell someone you love them, because the right moment might never come. But Alicia tells it better than I do, so see her lyrics here and listen to the song here.
The song reminded me of one of my favorite movie scenes of all time, which is in My Best Friend's Wedding. If you haven't seen that flick... um, where've ya been? Just kidding. In the film, Julia Roberts' character Julianne is best friends with Michael, who's played by Dermot Mulroney. And he announces that he's getting married to a gorgeous blonde named Kimmy (Cameron Diaz). At this news, Julianne suddenly realizes that she's in love with Michael. So she spends the rest of the film awkwardly trying to get him to call off the wedding.
There's one scene where Julianne finally gets to spend some time alone with Michael, and she has a chance to tell him how she feels, but doesn't. Check it out...
Just a couple of reminders that life is too short to hold back on how you really feel. If you love someone, you say it, before the moment passes you by.
The song reminded me of one of my favorite movie scenes of all time, which is in My Best Friend's Wedding. If you haven't seen that flick... um, where've ya been? Just kidding. In the film, Julia Roberts' character Julianne is best friends with Michael, who's played by Dermot Mulroney. And he announces that he's getting married to a gorgeous blonde named Kimmy (Cameron Diaz). At this news, Julianne suddenly realizes that she's in love with Michael. So she spends the rest of the film awkwardly trying to get him to call off the wedding.
There's one scene where Julianne finally gets to spend some time alone with Michael, and she has a chance to tell him how she feels, but doesn't. Check it out...
Just a couple of reminders that life is too short to hold back on how you really feel. If you love someone, you say it, before the moment passes you by.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Bachelor, Week 2
Tonight I had the pleasure of watching The Bachelor with some new friends, after I ate two helpings of lasagna and garlic bread. And a cupcake. Good food, good friends, and a trashy TV show... all on a Monday night. Does it get any better than that?
Tonight's episode was juicy as ever, and it was SO AWESOME watching it with other fellow female cynics. All throughout the episode we'd shout out exclamations like, "Yeah, right!" or "He's soooo not into you," or "You're goin' home, girl!" It was trash-talking at its best. We sounded just like the very catty contestants we were making fun of—only we were wearing jeans and sweatshirts instead of bikinis and evening gowns.
The super-duper clean-cut bachelor Jason had to juggle his time between 15 bachelorettes tonight, and he made out with about 13 of them. He went on two one-on-one dates, and a big group date with about six or seven others. I honestly felt bad for the bachelorettes who didn't get selected for either of those scenarios. You could see the dejection on their faces, and throughout the rest of the episode they desperately clamored to win Jason's affection. One woman ("The Brazilian," we call her) even snuck into his limo as he was leaving, and I think she scared the crap out of him because he sent her home at the end of the episode. He also sent home a very quiet girl who is cute but not nearly as glamorous as the others, and that made me sad. You know she was going home because she wasn't pretty enough.
Ugh, can you imagine the scrutiny?
Moving on...
I want to talk a bit about how the women are handling the fact that Jason is a single dad. There are a couple of single moms on the show, and even though it's obvious they're not quite right for Jason, you can tell his heart goes out to them a little, because they have this huge thing in common. I'm curious to see how long he leads them on—er, I mean continues to get to know them better.
Most of the girls, however, seem to think that what Jason wants to hear (awkwardly placed in the middle of a random convo about shoes or something) is this: "I LOVE kids. I want to be a teacher. And during my summers off, I want to play with the kids that I teach during the school year! I have a niece and a nephew, and they think that I'm the greatest aunt EVER. Blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah."
I don't know about Jason, but I can speak from my single-parenthood experience that this kind of talk—thought it may seem like an obvious way to win points—is in fact a huge turn-off. When a guy says these kinds of things to me, here's what I'm shouting in my head: "I don't want to hear about YOU. If you're trying to prove that you're ready to be in a relationship with a single mom, then the best thing you can do is ask me questions about my daughter. Ask me every question you can think of. Show interest in HER, don't brag about YOU. If you're so good with kids, I'll know it when you meet my child. You aren't going to prove it to me by telling me you take your nephew to the zoo once a month. Parenting is pretty much the most unselfish thing you're going to do. So if you're trying to tell me that you would make a good parent, don't be selfish by making it about you!"
I don't mean to come across so cynical, but this truly has been an honest indicator of which guys have been worth my time and which haven't. It makes sense, does it not?
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.
It's still too early to tell what will happen on this goofy show, but I'm already hooked (these shows are like drugs), so I'll keep watching. Send me your thoughts if you saw tonight's episode!
Tonight's episode was juicy as ever, and it was SO AWESOME watching it with other fellow female cynics. All throughout the episode we'd shout out exclamations like, "Yeah, right!" or "He's soooo not into you," or "You're goin' home, girl!" It was trash-talking at its best. We sounded just like the very catty contestants we were making fun of—only we were wearing jeans and sweatshirts instead of bikinis and evening gowns.
The super-duper clean-cut bachelor Jason had to juggle his time between 15 bachelorettes tonight, and he made out with about 13 of them. He went on two one-on-one dates, and a big group date with about six or seven others. I honestly felt bad for the bachelorettes who didn't get selected for either of those scenarios. You could see the dejection on their faces, and throughout the rest of the episode they desperately clamored to win Jason's affection. One woman ("The Brazilian," we call her) even snuck into his limo as he was leaving, and I think she scared the crap out of him because he sent her home at the end of the episode. He also sent home a very quiet girl who is cute but not nearly as glamorous as the others, and that made me sad. You know she was going home because she wasn't pretty enough.
Ugh, can you imagine the scrutiny?
Moving on...
I want to talk a bit about how the women are handling the fact that Jason is a single dad. There are a couple of single moms on the show, and even though it's obvious they're not quite right for Jason, you can tell his heart goes out to them a little, because they have this huge thing in common. I'm curious to see how long he leads them on—er, I mean continues to get to know them better.
Most of the girls, however, seem to think that what Jason wants to hear (awkwardly placed in the middle of a random convo about shoes or something) is this: "I LOVE kids. I want to be a teacher. And during my summers off, I want to play with the kids that I teach during the school year! I have a niece and a nephew, and they think that I'm the greatest aunt EVER. Blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah."
I don't know about Jason, but I can speak from my single-parenthood experience that this kind of talk—thought it may seem like an obvious way to win points—is in fact a huge turn-off. When a guy says these kinds of things to me, here's what I'm shouting in my head: "I don't want to hear about YOU. If you're trying to prove that you're ready to be in a relationship with a single mom, then the best thing you can do is ask me questions about my daughter. Ask me every question you can think of. Show interest in HER, don't brag about YOU. If you're so good with kids, I'll know it when you meet my child. You aren't going to prove it to me by telling me you take your nephew to the zoo once a month. Parenting is pretty much the most unselfish thing you're going to do. So if you're trying to tell me that you would make a good parent, don't be selfish by making it about you!"
I don't mean to come across so cynical, but this truly has been an honest indicator of which guys have been worth my time and which haven't. It makes sense, does it not?
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.
It's still too early to tell what will happen on this goofy show, but I'm already hooked (these shows are like drugs), so I'll keep watching. Send me your thoughts if you saw tonight's episode!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
This is just awesome
There's this great company called Despair, Inc., who makes products that are seeping in sarcasm. Case in point? This t-shirt right here...
I'm on Despair's email list, just because I'm a word nerd and therefore in love with their clever marketing language.
Here's what they wrote to promote the Cupid Keeps Missing t-shirt:
If you're interested in buying the shirt, you can do so here.
I'm on Despair's email list, just because I'm a word nerd and therefore in love with their clever marketing language.
Here's what they wrote to promote the Cupid Keeps Missing t-shirt:
In a year likely to be bitterly fruitful with miseries—one day in particular promises to stand out from among them. February 14th. A holiday which celebrates the endless promise of romantic love by blissfully tormenting all those who will spend the day loveless and alone.Brilliant. And all too true!
But fear not—for wherever large, suffering masses of embittered souls can be found, so too can Despair, Inc. Offering a sympathetic shoulder to cry on while ever-so-gently picking your pocket—leaving only some dark-humored, overpriced tschotschkes as receipt.
Coming this January 5th, Despair will introduce to the public our latest Valentine's Day collectible—the limited-run "Cupid Keeps Missing" t-shirt—in men's and women's versions. A shirt which shows only too well just how crappy a shot Cupid really is.
If you're interested in buying the shirt, you can do so here.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The 80/20 Experiment
Well, I finally finished my 80/20 Experiment list. I suppose it wasn't very surprising. After all, I've been dating for about 15 years now; I do know what I'm looking for in a man!
But what was surprising was determining which are the non-negotiables and which can be thrown out the window.
In making the list, I separated it into five categories:
1. Looks
2. Personality
3. Values
4. Things He Likes
5. How He Treats Me
I'm not going to share all of the specific line items, as I feel it's personal. (Plus, I don't think it's wise to publish my recipe for a perfect man on the World Wide Web. Any wackadoo could approach me claiming to posess all that falls into the 80-percent category. No thanks!) However, I will say that every item in the "Values" category (i.e. religion, family) fell in the 80th percentile, while most of the items in the "Things He Likes" category (food, music) were labeled as 20-percenters.
I listed 38 things total. Eighty percent of that is roughly 30, and 20 percent is 8. So there were 8 things that I could take or leave. The rest were the non-negotiables. Which is kind of scary. Because 30 is a much higher number than 8. I fear that my 80-percent Man might not actually exist. But it is that belief that causes me to settle, so I need to change that mindset! That is the whole purpose of this exercise!
It feels weird talking about this kind of thing in such mathematical terms. After all, we are talking about human beings here. And I don't plan on consulting this list every time I meet someone new. It's just a good way of identifying what matters and what doesn't. And I'm sure it will at least serve as a reminder from time to time of those traits that I cannot and should not settle for.
Did anyone else make a list? Or have you in the past? How has it worked for you?
But what was surprising was determining which are the non-negotiables and which can be thrown out the window.
In making the list, I separated it into five categories:
1. Looks
2. Personality
3. Values
4. Things He Likes
5. How He Treats Me
I'm not going to share all of the specific line items, as I feel it's personal. (Plus, I don't think it's wise to publish my recipe for a perfect man on the World Wide Web. Any wackadoo could approach me claiming to posess all that falls into the 80-percent category. No thanks!) However, I will say that every item in the "Values" category (i.e. religion, family) fell in the 80th percentile, while most of the items in the "Things He Likes" category (food, music) were labeled as 20-percenters.
I listed 38 things total. Eighty percent of that is roughly 30, and 20 percent is 8. So there were 8 things that I could take or leave. The rest were the non-negotiables. Which is kind of scary. Because 30 is a much higher number than 8. I fear that my 80-percent Man might not actually exist. But it is that belief that causes me to settle, so I need to change that mindset! That is the whole purpose of this exercise!
It feels weird talking about this kind of thing in such mathematical terms. After all, we are talking about human beings here. And I don't plan on consulting this list every time I meet someone new. It's just a good way of identifying what matters and what doesn't. And I'm sure it will at least serve as a reminder from time to time of those traits that I cannot and should not settle for.
Did anyone else make a list? Or have you in the past? How has it worked for you?
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Bachelor, Week 1
I have a confession to make.
Tonight, I watched the season premiere of... ahem... The Bachelor.
I've always disliked that show, which I've written about before, but this time around I think I'm going to watch it. After all, I have something in common with this season's bachelor... we're both single parents.
A few years ago, my brother told me he thought I should go on The Bachelor, that I would be a perfect candidate. I didn't know if I should be flattered or insulted, based on the kind of women I've seen on that show! But my bro is a good guy, so I'm guessing he was being nice. I told him there are a number of reasons why I couldn't ever do it:
1. I hate the cattiness among women on that show, but I also know full well that I would probably get caught up in that, were I one of them. Ugh.
2. I like my men exclusive, thank you very much.
3. I know they'd make a big deal out of me being a single mom, and I wouldn't want to put Julietta in the spotlight like that.
So now, to see a single dad (a seemingly well-balanced single dad) on the show—first as a Bachelorette contestant and now as the lucky guy who gets to choose his lady—is admirable. And it also makes me curious as to how he's going to play that out.
The recap of tonight's episode is not all that interesting. Nearly every minute of it was embarrassing, mainly because of the way the women were drooling all over the guy. And there was a lot of eye makeup, hair flips, and the use of the word "like." And of course the cat fighting has already begun. I didn't even know it was possible for so many women to hate each other so much, in such a small amount of time.
Based on the irresistible preview of the coming weeks (this show is the MASTER of that, by the way), it looks like there will be all kinds of delicious twists and turns. So I look forward to seeing that unfold in its probably uninteresting truth, and writing about it. If you're going to be watching it too, feel free to share your thoughts!
Tonight, I watched the season premiere of... ahem... The Bachelor.
I've always disliked that show, which I've written about before, but this time around I think I'm going to watch it. After all, I have something in common with this season's bachelor... we're both single parents.
A few years ago, my brother told me he thought I should go on The Bachelor, that I would be a perfect candidate. I didn't know if I should be flattered or insulted, based on the kind of women I've seen on that show! But my bro is a good guy, so I'm guessing he was being nice. I told him there are a number of reasons why I couldn't ever do it:
1. I hate the cattiness among women on that show, but I also know full well that I would probably get caught up in that, were I one of them. Ugh.
2. I like my men exclusive, thank you very much.
3. I know they'd make a big deal out of me being a single mom, and I wouldn't want to put Julietta in the spotlight like that.
So now, to see a single dad (a seemingly well-balanced single dad) on the show—first as a Bachelorette contestant and now as the lucky guy who gets to choose his lady—is admirable. And it also makes me curious as to how he's going to play that out.
The recap of tonight's episode is not all that interesting. Nearly every minute of it was embarrassing, mainly because of the way the women were drooling all over the guy. And there was a lot of eye makeup, hair flips, and the use of the word "like." And of course the cat fighting has already begun. I didn't even know it was possible for so many women to hate each other so much, in such a small amount of time.
Based on the irresistible preview of the coming weeks (this show is the MASTER of that, by the way), it looks like there will be all kinds of delicious twists and turns. So I look forward to seeing that unfold in its probably uninteresting truth, and writing about it. If you're going to be watching it too, feel free to share your thoughts!
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