I'm sensing a pattern here. And I can't speak for all of the non-marrieds, but it looks like, in my experience, I simply haven't been in a relationship where the Lover/Beloved business is run like the well-oiled machine it's supposed to be. I just haven't found the right guy yet. I've also learned that when I do find the right one, I need to stop worrying about this stuff and just chillax.
And speaking of finding this so-called One, I wanted to give a brief update on the Scarcity Myth Experiment (heretofore known as SME). I was supposed to start the first week of SME (which requires that I look an attractive person in the eye every day) on Monday. It wasn't until about 7pm on Monday night that I realized, uh-oh, I didn't look at anyone today. I had considered leaving the house again, just so I could follow through on my assignment, but what was I gonna do? Walk down the street? Hope that some hot man would come walking in my direction? Doubtful. Sorry, SME, I'll catch ya tomorrow.
Which was today. And I forgot about it again, until I was at the grocery store after work. And even then it was by accident. I was walking down the aisle when I saw a dark figure walking my way. I could see out of the corner of my eye that this figure was looking at me. It wasn't until he passed by me when I realized that the figure was a man. Who looked pretty cute. (As cute as someone can look from the back, anyway.) I know that he had been looking at me but I was so intent on finding the peanut butter that I missed my chance to look at him. In the eye. But not smiling. Because that would be breaking the rules.
So, I guess this little experiment is more difficult than I thought. But I'm going to go to bed early, wake up refreshed, put my game face on, and look at attractive men all over the place tomorrow. I'll be knockin' em dead, left and right, with my looks in the eyes. Just wait and see.
It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
2 comments:
Maybe you shouldn't try to knock em' dead. I'm just saying....it might defeat the purpose. LOL
As for the Lover/Beloved-maybe you have too much information...book-smarts...knowledge...whatever you want to call it. I would have never in a million years thought of that on my own. If you travel with that in your head it could be sabatoge before anything ever starts. Just my thought.
A long time ago (14 to 15 years) when my husband and I were starting to get interested in each other, he was nonchalant and I was the one who seemed more interested. Then a male friend told me a poem that he claims to have written.
As a rule a man's a fool.
When he's got it hot
He wants it cool.
When he's got it cool
He wants it hot.
Always wanting what is not.
Now I am not into "The Rules" but I will say that my future husband's interest picked up when I was more "cool" to him.
Go Figure.
Anyway, I like your Blog and your sense of humor. I will read more when you post.
I haven't commented yet, but I meant to mention that I've been reading your blog every day or as much as possible.
It's reassuring to read that marriages are more give and take than relationships have been for me so far. I've been the beloved far more than the lover (which is upsetting in its own way. I wonder: what's so wrong with this relationship that I'm not as interested in the other person as they are in me?), but right now it's opposite (a recent and frustrating development). I'll take everyone's advice though, and try not to worry about it. I've realized that it only makes things worse.
Also, I thought about looking at attractive men in the eyes and even smiling (*gasp*) throughout the last couple of days after I read your first post about SME, and I'm not even sure that I'm capable. I was in a relationship for so long and wasn't even interested in looking at other guys. Now I'm used to ignoring guys that I see in public all the time that I barely notice that they exist. Good luck with your experiment because I know that I'd need it.
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