All in the name of science, people.

Alas. 

Why on earth, you ask, am I saying "alas"?

Well, because the Scarcity Myth Experiment (SME) has come to an end. It's been a fun three weeks. I've spanned the greater area, looking at attractive men, flashing them smiles and shouting out hello's. I've scouted public places in search of my next SME subject, sometimes to my dismay and other times in jubilation at the large number of options available. 

But... alas. It is over.

Today was the last day of SME and I wanted to go out with a bang. So of course, I went to the gym. (I find I do my best work there.) And once again, there were plenty of attractive men strutting their stuff around the gym. But the one I was most intrigued with was the guy who was working in the childcare room. He had dark hair, dark eyes, a smile that could melt gold, and, oh yeah, HE WAS PROTECTING MY CHILD. Does it get any better? 

When I dropped Julietta off at the room, the guy flashed that brilliant smile at me and said hello. I think he may have been familiar with SME, because that right there was by the book. I returned a shy hello and went on my way. 

But when I came back from my workout to pick up Julietta, SHE WASN'T THERE. I panicked. The other girl who was supposed to be watching the kids was looking around the room as if Julietta were hiding or something. I gave my guy a look of desperation, and he swooped in, all knight-and-shining-armorish, and calmly said, "Oh, don't worry. She's just using the restroom." Smile. He then proceeded to tell me how adorable my daughter is. I wanted to marry him, right there in that room filled with Legos and Barbie dolls.

Sure enough, Julietta came out of the restroom safe and sound, and it was time for me and my knight to part ways. I gathered all of the confident composure I could muster, looked him directly in the eye, smiled, and said, "See ya." 

Now THAT is a happy ending to the silliest experiment I've ever conducted in my entire life.

Chris Farley would've been so disappointed

Today was the first real day that I could participate in the third-week assignment of SME. This is because on Monday and Tuesday, I did nothing but go to work and then come home. I bet you're wondering how I could possibly be single with such an active social life.

But today I went to the gym. All kinds of options at the gym, ladies, is all I'm sayin'. If you're not motivated to exercise by the idea of losing weight or anything like that, perhaps a little eye candy will kick you into gear. IT'S WORTH A SHOT.

So anyway... SME. Today's opportunity presented itself quite easily, actually, because the guy looked at me first and smiled! Made. My. Day. But then I was like, oh yeah, I need to say something to him! And I was THIS CLOSE to saying "Which way to the weight room?" like I joked about in an earlier post. (Side Note: It's starting to freak me out a little that I'll say something on this blog and then later it kind of comes true. So please take note that I am sarcastically joking that I'll win a million dollars and a villa in Italy.)

Back to the guy at the gym. I panicked a little and therefore opted for the oh-so-safe "Do you know where I can get a towel?" He pointed his muscular arm in the direction of the front desk, I thanked him, flashed him another smile, and well, that's about it. I walked away hitting myself for not asking the whereabouts of the weight room after all.

Any other Scarcity Myth experimenters out there? I want to know if it's been as much of a whopping success for you as it's been for me. Holla back.

My Latest Obsession(s)

Today begins the third and final week of the Scarcity Myth Experiment, which means I now have to look at, smile and say hello (or "hey!" or "what up?" or "which way to the weight room?", etc.) to someone I find attractive. I must say, now that I'm at this point, I'm a little nervous! It does take a lot of guts to talk to someone you don't know—and whose wife or girlfriend could potentially be lingering around the corner. But I'm determined to try it, merely for curiosity's sake. But not for anything else's sake. I wouldn't go behind curiosity's back like that—it's been good to me.

Also, I saw another movie tonight that I have to recommend to anyone who has a pulse. It's an independent film called Bella. I chose to rent this film because: 

a) Several people told me I should;

b) I kinda have a thing for the name Bella; and

c) This is the lead actor...

Need I say more?

I needn't, but I will.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the film is even more beautiful than Eduardo Verástegui is. It's not really a story of romantic love, although there are glimpses of that. It's more a story of how a broken soul finds healing, and how even the most unlikely people in your life can provide just the support you need to find said healing. And the best thing about it? Every single second of this film could have been real life. I'm amazed at how the writers, director and cast were able to give the viewer such an honest, vulnerable and beautiful glimpse of reality as we know it. 

Just a warning: You're probably going to cry at some point while watching this film. (Even you macho men out there may shed a tear). And if you're a parent? Just grab tissues now. That's all I'm sayin'. 

If any of you have seen Bella, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. In the meantime, I will be dreaming of Eduardo...

Recommended reading, and some other bizness

Well, it looks like it's unanimous that sitting on the same side of the booth is a definite NAY. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. But if any of you out there DO like to sit on the same side of the booth as your snoogems, and were too ashamed to admit it, I still love you anyway. I just might think you're a little weird. ;-)

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If you like a good love story, then you must read this real-life account, written by one of my favorite bloggers (The Pioneer Woman), about how she met and married her husband (whom she calls Marlboro Man). To date, she has written 37 continual entries about it, and each one is equally juicy, captivating and addicting. When I read through them I was glued to my computer screen, anxiously awaiting every little detail. It's good. And very funny too. (FYI: When you get to the page, scroll all the way to the bottom to read the first entry, and work your way up. It may take you a few sittings to get through all of it. If you can turn away, that is.)

Also, today begins Week 2 of SME! Which means I can now officially smile at the attractive men I look at. I already did that today, with a guy at the gas station. He smiled back. But that could have been because gas is now only $3.59 instead of $10.59, or whatever price that Ike guy forced upon us.

I begrudgingly admit that SME has already opened my eyes to the idea that there are in fact more potential dating prospects out there than I realized. However, I'm not really taking it too seriously (if you couldn't tell). I'm actually in the mindset that I probably shouldn't be meeting any men right now. But I will save that fascinating psychoanalysis for a future post. 

In the meantime, I have a question. Today I was in a restaurant and I saw a couple sitting on the same side of the booth (leaving the other side empty, ya know?). The idea of sitting this way in a restaurant has always intrigued me because I like to think about exactly how and why it happens. I mean, how was the decision made for them to sit that way? Does one have to invite the other to sit on the same side as them, or is it a given? Is it a one-time thing or do they sit this way in every restaurant?

So anyway, I'm taking a poll: Sitting on the same side of the booth... yay or nay?

Words of Wisdom from a Wise and Wordy Waitress

Check this out. 

In yesterday's post? When I doubted that there might be a hot man walking down my street? Well, today I went for a walk around the block (for no other reason than to take a walk, I swear). And wouldn't ya know it? Here comes a guy, all tall and well-dressed and with dimples, strolling toward me. I started to laugh out loud, thinking about how I basically fulfilled my own sarcastic prophecy from yesterday. I think the lady who wrote that Scarcity Myth article paid the guy to walk down the street, just to prove to me that it can happen. Whatever. I looked him in the eye and that was that. 

Just thought I'd share.

I also want to share my adoration for a great movie that I watched last night. It's called Waitress, and was suggested to me by a friend. (Thanks, nodrama!) It is a beautiful story about love, life, integrity and friendship. I don't agree with some of the things that go on in the relationships depicted in the film (i.e. cheating), but that also adds to its complexity.

There's one line in particular that is so pure and so true that I just had to share it with you. First, the premise: Throughout the film the main character Jenna is writing a letter to her unborn baby, giving life lessons as things happen to her. For years, this woman has suffered abuse of some sort by pretty much every influential man in her life, and finally she meets someone who sees nothing but the good in her and who never fails to express it. At one point he expresses it simply by hugging her. To which Jenna's voiceover says,

"Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it."

Such simple words for such powerful sentiment. And when you hear the words and watch the scene at the same time, in the compelling context that surrounds it... ohmagoodness. Your heart will melt into a puddle of warm, gooey goodness, all the way down to your toes. So make sure you wear socks.

L to the B, and an update

Thanks to everyone who commented, either on the blog itself or to me personally, on yesterday's post about the Lover/Beloved debate. It was interesting... all of the married people said pretty much the same thing, that it's a full-circle type of love, a give-and-take, etc. And all of the non-married people who spoke to me about it offline were all, "You're so right about this! There is always one that loves more than the other!"

 

I'm sensing a pattern here. And I can't speak for all of the non-marrieds, but it looks like, in my experience, I simply haven't been in a relationship where the Lover/Beloved business is run like the well-oiled machine it's supposed to be. I just haven't found the right guy yet. I've also learned that when I do find the right one, I need to stop worrying about this stuff and just chillax.

And speaking of finding this so-called One,  I wanted to give a brief update on the Scarcity Myth Experiment  (heretofore known as SME). I was supposed to start the first week of SME (which requires that I look an attractive person in the eye every day) on Monday. It wasn't until about 7pm on Monday night that I realized, uh-oh, I didn't look at anyone today. I had considered leaving the house again, just so I could follow through on my assignment, but what was I gonna do? Walk down the street? Hope that some hot man would come walking in my direction? Doubtful. Sorry, SME, I'll catch ya tomorrow.

Which was today. And I forgot about it again, until I was at the grocery store after work. And even then it was by accident. I was walking down the aisle when I saw a dark figure walking my way. I could see out of the corner of my eye that this figure was looking at me. It wasn't until he passed by me when I realized that the figure was a man. Who looked pretty cute. (As cute as someone can look from the back, anyway.) I know that he had been looking at me but I was so intent on finding the peanut butter that I missed my chance to look at him. In the eye. But not smiling. Because that would be breaking the rules.

So, I guess this little experiment is more difficult than I thought. But I'm going to go to bed early, wake up refreshed, put my game face on, and look at attractive men all over the place tomorrow. I'll be knockin' em dead, left and right, with my looks in the eyes. Just wait and see. 

It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

The Scarcity Myth

One of the things I often find myself and my other single friends saying is, "All of the good ones are taken." I have this tendency to believe that any guy who is worth dating has already been snatched up by some lucky lady, and that I've somehow missed the boat.

I came across this article on Yahoo, about how the very belief of this so-called "Scarcity Myth" could be the main reason why a person is single. It's all about thinking happy thoughts, apparently. That, and I guess you have to look at someone if you're interested in them. Who woulda thunk?

The article suggests doing a three-week experiment to "Debunk the Scarcity Myth," and maybe even meet someone in the meantime. You can read the full article for more details, but here's basically how the experiment works:

Week 1: Make eye contact with someone you find attractive, at least one time a day every day for a week.

Week 2: Make eye contact and smile at a person you find attractive, every day for a week.

Week 3: Make eye contact, smile, and... Are you ready for this? It's pretty tough but... say hello to a person you find attractive, every day for a week.

I guess the purpose of this exercise is to be proactive, to open your eyes and your mind to all of the potential mates that you come across every day. You're supposed to discover that there are more prospects out there than you originally thought.

I think it's kind of funny that you have to work yourself up to the shocking level of boldness you reach in week three. I guess doing all three things at once in the first week is just too much to handle. If during the first week the person you make eye contact with starts a conversation, run away yelling, "Not until week three! We can't talk for two more weeks! And don't even think about smiling at me!"

Because I'm making fun of this exercise I should probably try it, so that relationship-advice karma doesn't come back to bite me someday. I'll report back on the scientific results of the experiment. If any of you decide to try it too, let me know how it goes.