Only in Italy

This past weekend I watched Roman Holiday for the first time. This flick is a rather forward-thinking film that was made in 1953, starring the brilliant Audrey Hepburn and the devastatingly handsome Gregory Peck.

I've never really cared for the older films (except for Elvis Presley movies... I am madly in love with Elvis). So I was surprised that Roman Holiday had me glued to the screen the entire time. It's a captivating story about repression, freedom, friendship, duty. And of course, there's a little love thrown into the mix.

Here's a brief plot overview: A princess comes to Italy while on a "world tour," so to speak. The princess is young and very refined. But she's bursting to experience life outside the castle walls, so she runs away for what she thinks will only be a few hours. Of course, Italy is the most vibrant, charismatic, pleasure-seeking place on earth. It is the exact opposite of her stoic, secure royal life. So she soaks in every last drop of it, undergoing a much-needed awakening, and meets some good friends (and one hot man—ooh la la!) along the way.

What's interesting about this story is that most people would love to be royalty. We love the idea of being waited on hand and foot, and having all the finest things, and being practically worshiped by everyone we meet. But this story makes you realize that those things can be so stifling. And all of a sudden real life—in all of its spontaneous glory—seems more appealing than ever.

If you haven't seen this film, please do so soon, and tell me what you think of it. Buona sera!

The Holiday Breakup

Aah, the holidays...

I'm already starting to feel the warm fuzzies I always feel at this time of year. There's just something about the sparkling Christmas lights, the feel-good music, and the many gatherings with family and friends, that makes this time of year so outstanding.

Unless you're in a relationship that you need/want to get out of. Then the holidays can be one big sappy nuisance.

I've actually been through three holiday breakups. I've been both the dumper and the dumpee, and neither one is pleasant. (Although the dumpee role is especially biting.) But I survived them. And I had considered postponing one of those breakups for after the holidays, because I didn't want to make the dude sad at Christmastime. But I decided to bite the bullet and end it right away (which was two weeks before Christmas), and I'm glad I did.

Happenmag.com has a great article on how to tactfully and peacefully break up with someone during the holidays. The article contains this great quote about why it's such a difficult thing to do at this time of year...

“Everything about the holidays reminds us of family, love and ritual,” explains Kathleen Hall, CEO of Atlanta’s Stress Institute. “We see emotional movies. We go to the mall and see lovers holding hands. We go to restaurants and see couples kissing and eating together. Holidays are a sensual time of smells, food, music, lights and decorations. It is a time that we naturally want to share with another person.”

And despite that very sensory experience, the article also recommends dumping the person right away instead of prolonging it—agonizing as it may be.

You can read the rest of the article here.

First Date Don'ts

Okay, so I said that I might post some things while on vacation but I lied. Sorry. It turns out I didn't have as much access to the Internet as I had originally envisioned. So once again I made a promise (kinda) on this blog and didn't follow through. I think I'd better stop with the promises.

Anyway, I'm back from vacation now and I'm totally beat, so I just wanted to leave you with a quick little sumpin' sumpin'.

My friend sent me a link to an article about what NOT to do on a first date. While the article is written for women, I think men can learn from it as well. The advice is a little obvious, in my opinion, as if the writer is assuming that the woman reading it has not been on a date in ten years. But it's fun to read nonetheless.

Here are the six things the article says not to do. For further explanation, read the article in full here.

Don't...

1. Introduce unfamiliar grooming regimens into your routine.

2. Wear those six-inch heels you bought on eBay, thinking they were Louboutins, but actually turned out to be regulation stripper footwear.

3. Get liquored up first.

4. Not eat if you're on a dinner date.

5. Talk too much/clam up completely.

6. Play make-believe. [In other words, don't lie.]

Also, I have a number 7, for guys only: Don't quote lines from The Cosby Show on a first date. It will likely end unfavorably, as was the case here.

Dance Your Heart Out

One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance, and one of my favorite dances this past season was performed by Mark and Chelsie, to the song "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis.

This dance was choreographed to tell the story of a workaholic husband and his frustrated wife. You can definitely see that struggle in this creative and emotional routine.

Check it out...

Hooked on Hitch

Over the weekend I saw the movie Hitch. I know that I'm about three years too late, but I'll risk being so yesterday because I really want to talk about this movie.

If you need a refresher, or if you haven't seen the film, I'll give you a brief synopsis of the plot: The main character Hitch, who's played by Will Smith, is known in New York City as the Date Doctor. He helps men—namely men who don't stand a chance—get dates with the women of their dreams. Hitch ends up finding love too, and in doing so he learns that it's not as easy as it looks.

What I love about this film is that Hitch teaches his clients how to have "game," but not in a player kind of way. In fact, he turns down a client who wants only to get in bed with a woman. ("Here's the thing," Hitch says to the guy. "My clients actually like women. 'Hit it and quit it' is not my thing.") He basically just teaches guys how to pay attention to women, and he also pushes them to man up and be confident, because that's what women like most. (And we really do, BTW. Just sayin'.)

But even women can learn from this film. It's just an interesting look at the sociology of people who are either in a relationship or looking to be in one.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Hitch himself:

"Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means ninety percent of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth."

"The fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom."

"One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once."

"Begin each day as if it were on purpose."

"When you're wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means she said yes when she could've said no. That means she made a plan, when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to make her like you... It is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP."

[toasting] "Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

And my favorite, because it's so true...

"So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them."

What other good love flicks have you seen? Tell me about 'em!

Just Say No... to TV

I came across this article on MSN, about how a couple made a commitment to go without TV for their first year of marriage.

I'm not married but I totally think this is a great idea. Television can be an easy distraction when conversation is dull or unwanted. It fills the space where there might be a void... or it can create the void in the first place.

I know some of you reading this are bigtime TV aficionados. And I'm not judgin', I swear! But just imagine for a sec the many things you could do with your spouse (and/or your kids) if the TV wasn't there to lure you with its shiny pictures and addictive plots.

I think the concluding paragraph sums it up nicely:

And for now, as peculiar as it may seem, this TV-free experience is giving us a priceless gift: the ability to kick off our marriage with a solid foundation of communication. Having no TV has challenged us to stop watching other people live their lives and to start living our own. I recommend turning off the tube to all couples. I guarantee you: It's reality TV at its finest.

You can read the entire article here.

But first, have any of you tried going without TV for a period of time, for the sake of enriching your marriage? (Or for any other reason?) If so, how did it go?

Stolen

One of my favorite love songs of all time is "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional. Between the simple but compelling lyrics, the melody that pulls on my heartstrings, and the stunning good looks of lead singer Chris Carrabba... I'm sold.

Here's the video. It paints a pleasantly romantic picture of a lifelong love finally realized.

And girls... Chris Carrabba. Am I right?

Kissing Frogs

Last night I went to a Carrie Underwood concert. I found that I can really relate to Carrie. Except for the whole hot-blonde-superstar thing. But she and I seem to have a similar track record regarding the kinds of men we date. Except for the whole hot-famous-athlete thing. (Speaking of... a very reliable source told me that Carrie is NOT dating Michael Phelps like everyone is saying. Rather she has been seeing some Travis guy from The Bachelor. Apparently he was at the concert last night but I didn't see him. I know you were all losing sleep at night, thinking about Carrie Underwood's love life. I'm happy to be of service.)

Carrie has a song that best explains this track record that she and I share. It's called "The More Boys I Meet" and it comically expresses the frustrations of dating one dud after another. 

Here are the lyrics:

This boy here wants to move too fast
He sees my future as having a past
Well, I don't think so
I don't think so

That guy there, well he's playing a fool
He thinks he's funny and he thinks he's cool
We'll I don't think so
I don't think so

Cheap date, bad taste, another night gone to waste
Talking about nothing in so many words
It's not like I'm not trying
'Cause I'll give anyone a shot once

And, I , I close my eyes
And, I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my dog

Here's this guy, thinks he's bad to the bone
He wants to pick me up and take me home
Well, I don't think so
I don't think so

Cage fights, PlayStation, X-Games, Raider Nation
Oversize pants with an ego to match
It's not like I'm not trying
'Cause I'll give anyone a shot once

And, I , I close my eyes
And, I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my dog

Why can't they be like the ones that mean everything to me
The warm and loyal, open and friendly
It's not like I'm not trying
'Cause I'll give anyone a shot once

I close my eyes
And, I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my

I close my eyes
And, I kiss that frog
Each time finding
The more boys I meet the more I love my dog

The more I love my dog

I hear ya, Carrie. You and I are on the same page. Except for the whole I-love-my-dog thing. Don't even have a dog. But I'm working on that. Right after I get a multimillion-dollar record deal and an Olympiad boyfriend.

My Latest Obsession(s)

Today begins the third and final week of the Scarcity Myth Experiment, which means I now have to look at, smile and say hello (or "hey!" or "what up?" or "which way to the weight room?", etc.) to someone I find attractive. I must say, now that I'm at this point, I'm a little nervous! It does take a lot of guts to talk to someone you don't know—and whose wife or girlfriend could potentially be lingering around the corner. But I'm determined to try it, merely for curiosity's sake. But not for anything else's sake. I wouldn't go behind curiosity's back like that—it's been good to me.

Also, I saw another movie tonight that I have to recommend to anyone who has a pulse. It's an independent film called Bella. I chose to rent this film because: 

a) Several people told me I should;

b) I kinda have a thing for the name Bella; and

c) This is the lead actor...

Need I say more?

I needn't, but I will.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the film is even more beautiful than Eduardo Verástegui is. It's not really a story of romantic love, although there are glimpses of that. It's more a story of how a broken soul finds healing, and how even the most unlikely people in your life can provide just the support you need to find said healing. And the best thing about it? Every single second of this film could have been real life. I'm amazed at how the writers, director and cast were able to give the viewer such an honest, vulnerable and beautiful glimpse of reality as we know it. 

Just a warning: You're probably going to cry at some point while watching this film. (Even you macho men out there may shed a tear). And if you're a parent? Just grab tissues now. That's all I'm sayin'. 

If any of you have seen Bella, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. In the meantime, I will be dreaming of Eduardo...

Recommended reading, and some other bizness

Well, it looks like it's unanimous that sitting on the same side of the booth is a definite NAY. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. But if any of you out there DO like to sit on the same side of the booth as your snoogems, and were too ashamed to admit it, I still love you anyway. I just might think you're a little weird. ;-)

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If you like a good love story, then you must read this real-life account, written by one of my favorite bloggers (The Pioneer Woman), about how she met and married her husband (whom she calls Marlboro Man). To date, she has written 37 continual entries about it, and each one is equally juicy, captivating and addicting. When I read through them I was glued to my computer screen, anxiously awaiting every little detail. It's good. And very funny too. (FYI: When you get to the page, scroll all the way to the bottom to read the first entry, and work your way up. It may take you a few sittings to get through all of it. If you can turn away, that is.)

Also, today begins Week 2 of SME! Which means I can now officially smile at the attractive men I look at. I already did that today, with a guy at the gas station. He smiled back. But that could have been because gas is now only $3.59 instead of $10.59, or whatever price that Ike guy forced upon us.

I begrudgingly admit that SME has already opened my eyes to the idea that there are in fact more potential dating prospects out there than I realized. However, I'm not really taking it too seriously (if you couldn't tell). I'm actually in the mindset that I probably shouldn't be meeting any men right now. But I will save that fascinating psychoanalysis for a future post. 

In the meantime, I have a question. Today I was in a restaurant and I saw a couple sitting on the same side of the booth (leaving the other side empty, ya know?). The idea of sitting this way in a restaurant has always intrigued me because I like to think about exactly how and why it happens. I mean, how was the decision made for them to sit that way? Does one have to invite the other to sit on the same side as them, or is it a given? Is it a one-time thing or do they sit this way in every restaurant?

So anyway, I'm taking a poll: Sitting on the same side of the booth... yay or nay?

Words of Wisdom from a Wise and Wordy Waitress

Check this out. 

In yesterday's post? When I doubted that there might be a hot man walking down my street? Well, today I went for a walk around the block (for no other reason than to take a walk, I swear). And wouldn't ya know it? Here comes a guy, all tall and well-dressed and with dimples, strolling toward me. I started to laugh out loud, thinking about how I basically fulfilled my own sarcastic prophecy from yesterday. I think the lady who wrote that Scarcity Myth article paid the guy to walk down the street, just to prove to me that it can happen. Whatever. I looked him in the eye and that was that. 

Just thought I'd share.

I also want to share my adoration for a great movie that I watched last night. It's called Waitress, and was suggested to me by a friend. (Thanks, nodrama!) It is a beautiful story about love, life, integrity and friendship. I don't agree with some of the things that go on in the relationships depicted in the film (i.e. cheating), but that also adds to its complexity.

There's one line in particular that is so pure and so true that I just had to share it with you. First, the premise: Throughout the film the main character Jenna is writing a letter to her unborn baby, giving life lessons as things happen to her. For years, this woman has suffered abuse of some sort by pretty much every influential man in her life, and finally she meets someone who sees nothing but the good in her and who never fails to express it. At one point he expresses it simply by hugging her. To which Jenna's voiceover says,

"Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it."

Such simple words for such powerful sentiment. And when you hear the words and watch the scene at the same time, in the compelling context that surrounds it... ohmagoodness. Your heart will melt into a puddle of warm, gooey goodness, all the way down to your toes. So make sure you wear socks.