However, I firmly believe that the only way I can look brightly toward my future is if I deal with what has happened in my past. Paris is not someone that I can just forget about at the snap of my fingers. I was fully prepared to marry the man, after all. He was to be my husband. So the damage that was done had way more of an impact on me than it would have had he been just another jerk boyfriend.
After I broke off my engagement, I began to look at every single relationship around me and doom it to failure. I questioned whether or not people were really happy or if they were hiding behind a front like I had been. When I'd hear that a couple had gotten engaged, I assumed that one or both of them wanted to get out of it. These are not healthy perceptions! And I knew that if I continued thinking that way, then I would never find the nurturing, fulfilling kind of love I've always wanted. And that is why I decided to start writing about it.
I've only had this blog for a few weeks, and already I have grown leaps and bounds in my attitude about love. It's been as therapeutic as professional counseling—and a lot less expensive. Plus, having an audience to cheer me on is an added bonus!
Writing about my past has brought to the surface some of the vital details I had buried. It's also forced me to really evaluate some of the mistakes I've made. In turn, I am now able to sift through my past, take only the nuggets that will enrich my future, and leave the rest behind.
And that is where Debbie Downer exits and Suzy Sunshine enters. True love and peace will be in my future, I can feel it. In the meantime, I thank you all for reading my heart on a page. It's helped me more than you know.
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