This online dating stuff is weird

So I was feeling all good about myself today because I received six emails and six "winks" from guys on Match.com. Almost every time I checked my email, I was getting a message from Match saying that someone was interested in me! 

I was starting to strut my stuff, until I went to my profile and saw how many people had actually looked at my profile today... 76. Seventy-six men looked at my profile, and 64 of them decided they weren't interested enough to even click on the little Wink icon! My big head was deflated in a nanosecond. It deserved that, I suppose. But it liked feeling desired, dangit.

Of course, I couldn't READ the emails until I subscribed to the devil that is Match.com. They let you do your profile and see other people's profiles for free, but in order to read the 6 messages in your inbox, you have to pay a monthly fee. And because I am a product of our instant gratification culture, I just had to read what those messages said. So I forked over the cash for a one-month subscription. 

I feel like I've sold out.

But it was fun to read what the whopping six people had to say about me. My head was filling up a little again, after reading their flattering messages. I think the trick is to write a witty "Profile Headline." Here's mine: "I'm a good girl, love my mama. Love Jesus and America too... I also happen to be crazy 'bout Elvis." 

So most of the emails I received had something to do with Tom Petty. They all thought I was a huge Petty fan, but actually I'm not. I just have always related to those lyrics in his song "Free Fallin'" and thought it made sense for a dating website. Apparently it was a big hit. Except to the 64 people who didn't like me.

While I was checking my emails, some of the guys started to IM me. Anyone who knows me well knows I can't stand instant messaging. I'm a writer, an editor. I like to take my time with words. And I like spontaneous conversation when it's face-to-face, not through a little box on my computer screen. It's so much pressure, IM-ing!! So whenever someone started to chat with me, I pretended I didn't see it. But I felt bad after awhile and so I chatted briefly with a "Mr. Pringle." He was pretty cool. He asked me what my job is and I told him, and he said, "You're a rarity on here. Most girls have bad jobs or are uneducated." And that actually made me feel like MORE of a loser, because despite my intelligence, I'm still trying to find love on a friggin' website.

I'm trying to warm up to this, really. I do see how love connections can be made, and it is a nice service for those who don't have many outlets for meeting people. It's just so awkward in the beginning. I'm not accustomed to getting emails from strangers telling me they think I'm beautiful. When I read their flattery and, mostly, when I respond to it, I feel like I need to take a shower afterward.

But I'm only doing this for one month (because there's no way I'm paying that subscription fee again!) and I'm doing it for "research." So I guess I'll stick it out and see what happens.

'Cause I'm free, baby. Free fallin'.