Oh my goodness. I thought it would take maybe a half hour to do an online dating profile. It took two hours. Of course, I had to be all clever and stuff. I didn't want lame responses like "I like long walks on the beach..." So instead I opted for the more thought-provoking (read: trying too hard) statements like "I'm looking for someone who shares my passion for the intricate details of life. Someone who is confident in his own skin, but not cocky. (There is a big difference.) Someone who will make me and others laugh. Someone who brings energy to a room when he walks into it." Every man is going to want me because I am SO UNIQUE.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before creating a profile, I had to decide which online dating site I was going to go with. I'd like to thank all of the readers who gave me suggestions. I garnered from those suggestions that eHarmony was a big fat no. So I narrowed my choices to Match.com and Plentyoffish.com. The Plentyoffish one kind of bothered me. It is free, which is nice, but it's a little too much like the personal ads in the paper. Plus, I don't like how the name looks in the URL. Every time I read it, my instincts tell me that the name is Plenty Offish. Which doesn't make sense, and also brings to mind the word "standoffish." Which is not a word I'd like to associate with a dating website.
Yes, I'm picky. And yes, that is why I'm still single.
I thought that Match.com's home page was rather amusing. Below are a few quotes from that page, describing certain aspects of the website.
1) "With over 15 million singles online, Match.com is so sure you'll find someone special within six months, we're willing to guarantee it with our Make Love Happen guarantee." Is this like when those informercials promise you'll get your money back if The Ab Monster XL doesn't, in fact, give you rock-hard abs? So they're comparing my very own well-being to a piece of equipment? I'm glad to know that I matter to Match.com.
2) "Okay, so you've searched through available singles and you've seen someone you think you may connect with... Now, it's time to subscribe, because flirting is fun, but email is where the real love connections are made." Excuse me? Email is where love connections are made? EMAIL?? Whatever happened to having an actual date? Looking into someone's eyes? I know that they're speaking in context with how the site works, but when taken on its own, this sentence is sadly disturbing.
3) "Think about how much you spend on a night out at a bar. Or how much you spend on a movie and a bag of popcorn. How quickly would you give up one of these for a lifetime of love with someone special? Is it worth it? Get started now and find out for yourself!" Ah, here's where they get ya. You would spend money on a date anyway, so skip the date, stay at home, sit in front of your computer for hours, and spend that money instead on an automated service that will connect you with hundreds of other potential dates. It's an investment, you see.
4) The conclusive sentence was the best one by far: "So what have you got to lose, besides more nights cuddling with your pillow?" They just had to get that one last jab in there, didn't they? I happen to like my pillow, thank you very much. It's soft and it doesn't snore.
Despite my beef with these things, I decided to go with Match.com after all. Mainly because I was tired of searching around for other sites. And it's a good thing I didn't take any more time searching because it took so long to fill out my clever and creative profile. More on that experience tomorrow.
1 comment:
I do have some advice as you start this process, don't spend a lot of time talking online or on the phone, meet as soon as possible so there isn't any time wasted...a friend of mine learned this the hard way!!!
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